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On the Paradoxical Agony and Bliss of Our Essential Nature

Updated: Mar 1, 2023


The Agonising Peace of My True Nature


A rumbling pain of fearful hopelessness,

lies like a knitting ball in my belly,

ringing with the unbearable sound of a dark past.


Unravel it carefully I would like to,

perhaps with the helpful hand of my therapist,

in the safe grasp of spoken words.


But the clash of insight into my true nature,

the breath of wisdom,

and the thunder of seeing,

seeing,

seeing,

seeing.


So empty is the fullness of my being with which

I know my pain,

that even an infinite waterless well is not empty

compared to me.


So irresistable am I to myself,

but - for some reason the ball of pain still feels safer

than to fall into the well of my overflowing being.


But fall I must,

fall into the agonising peace,

of my true nature.


Into the agony of deathless Love.


Into the fullest and emptiest embrace

of an almighty and all-vulnerable One,

who sits calmly and happily


at the Centre of my being,


as the Mind of my mind,

as the Heart of my heart,

as the Self of my self.



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Beautifully put....I relate well I do...fall with a "Transpersonal" therapist's help...


Voluntary Death

 

Feeling as if I am on

a mountain precipice

while Nature echos all around

Shall I follow an urge and make the jump

and die on my way to the ground?

 

Or shall I stay safely stuffed in my skin

suffering the battles of self?

Spirit calls…step off the cliff… 

the unknown is the best choice

fall into most certain death

 

Only what’s not me will die, I'm told

But what does that mean I ask

Something about trust I hear in reply

Just have faith IT won't die

 

Risking all fear and taking the leap

right into a chasm unknown

now something is…

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